A Death In Heaven
By David Leonard
Thank goodness the privacy curtain blocked his daughter’s view of the doorway. Dave knew his wife had called the Priest, their daughter was not expected to live through the afternoon. In a daze he reluctantly arose from beside his daughter’s bed and stopped the Priest from entering her hospital room. He knew the Priest was likely a good man just doing his job, as requested, offering faith and peace in their time of need but Dave didn’t share their faith and he’d be damned if the Priest would administer the Last Rites while she still breathed. No one was going to rob him of one minute of her life which still remained. Just as the Priest was about to speak Dave put his hand, open-palmed, directly in front of his puzzled face.
“Don’t say a single word, please, if you try to enter this room while she still breathes I will throw you out and lock the door behind you. It matters not to me that you are a Catholic Priest for I do not believe you have a lock on Heaven or the ear of God,” he told him.
Both stared at each other for several excruciating, long seconds before the Catholic priest, with sweat beading on his furrowed brow, opened his Bible and softly recited prayers from the Book Of Psalms: “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.”
Dave’s head was spinning; spinning; why in the Hell was this happening to his beautiful teenage daughter whom a mere three days ago was so full of life, and energy, and happiness, that it radiated out from her lifting the spirits of everyone she came in contact with? This isn’t God’s will, God has nothing to do with life or death, if he did God would never allow children to be taken. His wife called, snapping him back to the sorrow at hand; quickly he hurried to be at his daughter’s side sliding his chair as close to her hospital bed as space allowed grasping her right hand in both of his. Her skin was cold, very cold, and though he briskly rubbed the skin on top of her hand and arm it failed to warm in the least bit as if life had already receded from her outer extremities.
“Daddy, I’m scared,” his daughter cried as her eyes searched his for help and hope.
“Hey Dot,” he replied softly, it was the nickname he’d given her at birth from a big red spot pressed onto her forehead. Caused by her trying to enter this world by coming through the birth canal sideways; after 24 hours of labor their doctor finally delivered her by “C” section. The operating room nurse wrapped a small blanket around their daughter, showed her to Colleen then handed him their tiny bundle of joy while the doctor finished with her mother. Dave gazed into his newly born daughter’s eyes as a nurse wiped her tiny body clean. Her little eyes locked on his for minute upon minute upon minute, she lovingly stared as if in recognition. To him she looked more like a miniature adult than a baby, her eyes conveyed intelligence and understanding. By then the red spot on her head had faded but the nic-name stuck. “Dot, do you remember when we got Banjo, or more like when you picked Banjo out?” he asked. Banjo was the Golden Retriever puppy they took her to buy for her fifth birthday. “There were three puppies in a small pen, two of them were jumping all around your legs saying pick me, pick me and the third cowered in the corner of the pen, obviously scared and picked on by the other two. You picked him up and didn’t let go until we got home, you two were inseparable from day one.”
She smiled at the thought, how good it was to see his daughter smile again. “Yeah, I remember, he was waiting for me, he needed me Dad; Banjo was the best dog ever.” Dot said this with moist eyes, just the thought of that golden retriever filled their hearts with love. Her tears were drops of joyful memories.
“You know Dot, I’ll never forget the day your training wheels first came off your bike,” Dave continued. “You rode down the driveway and like an idiot, I was throwing the tennis ball to Banjo as I sat in a lawn chair watching you. I threw the ball high so it would bounce high, you know how much he loved to jump up to catch the ball in the air. What a mistake,” he chuckled. “You came wobbling up the drive just as the ball came down right in front of your bike, and here comes Banjo flying through the air going straight for the tennis ball. BAMMM, you hit him as he flew by, throwing you over the handlebars into his side and you both tumbled across the asphalt together. It was a miracle that neither one of you were seriously injured,” Dave said, smiling and shaking his head. Even though they had told and re-told this same story dozens of times they never tired of telling it or hearing it again.
“I sure remember hitting Banjo and falling, I didn’t know it was you that set the collision in motion, Daaaad!” she replied. They both laughed, only a story and memory of their golden retriever could make a dying child laugh, but it ended quickly.
“Why did Banjo have to die? Why Dad?” A tumor near his heart had killed Banjo last year, after eight wonderful years.
“Why do I have to die Dad, why me, I don’t want to die, I’m scared Dad,” Dot asked these questions with the fear of fate returning to her eyes.
“Dot,” Dave asked his daughter. “What is ‘dog’ spelled backwards?”
It took her a few seconds but she answered “God, dog spelled backwards is God.”
“That’s right,” he said. “Banjo is waiting for you and me right now. And what is our most favorite thing to do together, you, me, and Banjo?”
This she answered without hesitation. “Hike through Fatman’s Squeeze on our way up the bluff at Devil’s Lake State Park and eat lunch.”
“Well we’re going there this afternoon, you just wait and see,” Dave said. “When the time comes I’ll be there for you, we’re doing this together Dot.” She laid there with her hair spread across the pillow, appearing angelic, in perfect peace. As they gazed into each other’s eyes the room and everything in it seemed to disappear, the love between them seemed to radiate out from each to the other. The sad thing was his daughter seemed to be growing more distant, as if passing at this moment. “Mr. Lennon, can I have a word with you?” the Doctor interrupted as if time meant nothing.
He hadn’t even heard the useless bastard enter, but at this moment he never felt like hitting someone more, he disliked the Priest but he hated the Doctor. It was only three days ago that they had brought their daughter into the hospital’s emergency room. She’d been running a high fever that came out of nowhere, suddenly, in less than a day after returning from a free admission day at the waterpark most businesses gave to the local Wisconsin Dells children early in the season. An immigrant from Liberia working in the Dells on a J-1 Visa, who was also an unwitting carrier of Meningitis, just happened to cough in his daughter’s face infecting her. But he blamed the doctor who did almost nothing for the first, most critical 24 hours.
“Mr. Lennon, you shouldn’t be filling her head with promises you can’t keep or fulfill,” he spoke softly as Dave walked up to him.
Colleen came over as well, she had barely said a word to their daughter. For a mother she didn’t handle pressure well, not at all, but her daughter needed her comfort now and she couldn’t give it; there would be know tomorrow.
“Listen Doctor I’m only going to tell you once, shut up and leave us alone, I mean it. When you have to watch your child die because some incompetent idiot did nothing but give her an IV of saline solution as treatment for a serious contagious disease you might have a different opinion. If you so much as cough while standing here I’m going to hit you so hard you’ll be opening the door to Heaven for my daughter, got it? After she passes you and the other useless guy in the hallway can do what you wish, I’ll be puking in the bathroom.”
Colleen grabbed his upper arm tightly to get his full attention. “Dave control yourself, please, not here, not now, think of our daughter, they are here to help.” she said trying to diffuse the situation.
Dave was upset with them all, the priest, the doctor, and his wife, he felt betrayed by all three. He jabbed his finger at the doctor and said, “He’s no help, when we needed him to be on his toes and play his best game he failed miserably, doing as little as possible, not following up every possibility or even conferring with his colleges. And the priest is here to administer last rights, if he was truly here to help he would be praying for a miracle cure.” Pointing at his wife, he said, “If you don’t agree with me, please don’t take sides, especially theirs.”
With that said he hurried back to his daughter’s side. What gives someone the right to interfere negatively in someone else’s time and life? The useless doctor can replace a person’s heart but isn’t smart enough to know how not to injure one. The useless priest who can pray for and save your soul but can’t help himself out of his own moral vacuum. The key to Heaven is this: The door’s not locked, it’s within reach of every one of us, you just need to know which way to turn. Of course the entrance to Hell does also; they both use the same door; for one you go in, the other out.
Colleen needs more comfort than their daughter Dave thought as he moved back to Dot’s bedside. She can’t handle Dot’s dying so instead of giving her what love she could, sharing their last seconds together, Colleen turns to the living for comfort.
Dave spoke softly to his daughter he could see she was fading, her eyes were open wide but she could not see through them, her sight was not limited by her eyes, Dot was moving on, glimpsing the afterlife. “Look for Banjo Dot, he’ll be there darling, and wait for me.”
Colleen cried in the doctor’s arms but it didn’t matter it would be over soon.
“Daddy, where are you?” Dot cried softly as she slowly expelled her last breath.
Dave hugged her body one last time long and hard as only a father could, he had to be strong now.
“Hold on Dot, wait for me and look for Banjo, he’ll be there.” Dave said standing, tears streaked down his cheeks as he looked at his wife for the last time. She stood there crying with her face cupped in her trembling hands. The doctor closed Dot’s eyelids and shut her mouth; he also straightened her arms and legs so it would be easier to conduct an autopsy without having to break bones. The clueless moron could have at least waited until they were out of the room.The priest had come into the room and stood on the opposite side of the bed from the doctor to give their daughter Last Rights. “I’m going to be sick,” Dave mumbled as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
KERRR BAMMM!!!!! The gunshot sounded more like an explosion in the confines of the small, tiled bathroom as it echoed down the hospital’s hallways for what seemed to be minutes.Colleen screamed as the doctor yanked open the bathroom door and they both rushed in with the priest close behind. Dave sat on the tiled, ceramic floor of the walk-in shower, his back rested against a plastic seat used to sit on while washing. Behind his head he had put towels to limit the gore and mess, then leaned his head back, put the gun in his mouth and blew the back of his skull and most of his brains against the shower wall. His blood and life slowly circled the drain between his legs on it’s final, dark, descent.
“Why Dave, why?” Colleen cried, “We still had each other!” She was wracked in sobs and let the doctor lead her out of the bathroom.
“Maybe we should move into the hall while I call for some orderlies,’’ the doctor said softly, barely audible over the rapid prayers of the priest. Who spoke as if he had to say them quickly before Dave’s soul was dragged down the drain; pulled along in the heavy red flow of his rapidly decreasing blood; beyond earshot on his descent to Hell.
“Woof, woof, woof,” the excited bark of an extremely happy dog along with the click, click, click of nails on prancing paws could be heard coming down the hospital corridor towards them.
“What the Hell?” the Doctor said looking about. “Dogs aren’t allowed in Intensive care.”
“Banjo,” Colleen said. “That was Banjo, our daughter’s dog that passed away last year.”
“OH MY GOD!” she cried out as she stared wide-eyed at her daughter, “Doctor look!”
The doctor stared in disbelief as he slowly approached Dot’s bed, shaking his head back and forth. “This can’t be! I shut her eyes and mouth myself, she was dead, she is dead.” But there Dot lay, eyes wide open, crinkled at the corners with a large, full tooth grin upon her face.
“Woof, woof, woof,” the dog barked again from inside the hospital room with them. The Priest came out of the bathroom where he had been praying for and giving Dave his Last Rights.
“You shouldn’t have a dog in here, what’s going on?” he asked as he glanced around the room not seeing one anywhere. His eyes then focussed on Dot laying in bed and he crossed himself again. “Lord why do you test my faith? Is not the door to Heaven opened by one’s belief in your only son Jesus Christ, not by the barking of some animal?” he questioned out loud.
“No,” Colleen replied. “Just look at our daughter, it’s a miracle, oh my God it’s a miracle!” There was genuine happiness in her voice, “Something wonderful is happening here Father.”She stepped back into the bathroom to check out her husband’s expression and started to laugh through her tears again. Dave’s eyes were wide open and he was smiling broadly. If the back half of his head wasn’t missing he could pass as someone who’d just won the lottery. Colleen couldn’t believe what was happening, something wonderful, no it really was a miracle if the priest or doctor believed it or not. She came back to her daughter’s bed wiping happy tears of love and fond memories from her cheek where the doctor was trying unsuccessfully to close their daughter’s eyes again. Colleen reached up and lightly touched his upper arm. “Please leave her be Doctor, my daughter is most definitely in a better place, if you don’t think so go look at her father in the bathroom, he couldn’t be happier.”
“Hey,” Colleen let loose with a little cry, “Banjo just licked my hand, I knew he was here, no wonder Dot is smiling so broadly.”
The priest just couldn’t let that go. “That’s not possible, dogs don’t go to Heaven or return as Angels, the door to Heaven is opened through belief and faith in Jesus Christ. Your husband wouldn’t even let me pray for your daughter. Colleen looked closely at her priest and saw a different man than the one she thought she had known. It was he who was having a question of faith.
“Father,” Colleen said, “My husband DID NOT prevent you from praying for our daughter, he stopped you from giving her Last Rights while she still lived, he felt you should be praying for a miracle cure. You know Jesus can’t be the only key to Heaven’s door, what about the six billion non-Christians, where do they go? And no animals in Heaven, I don’t believe it, not for a moment. God sent the only Angel a little girl would trust, her beloved dog. I think everybody deserving` goes to their own Heaven, there are many doors and love is the key to your door, the Kingdom of God is within us all. Maybe you should be taking notes to document this miracle for the Church, for the Pope and bishops.” she scolded.
The priest was muttering a silent prayer, but he answered Colleen quick enough. “Mrs. Lennon they’re dead, they can’t go to Heaven on their terms, that’s out of the question,” he said.
Today was tragic enough but Colleen knew something wonderful was happening. “Father, you can’t possibly mean that. Osiris was killed by his brother for his throne, then was brought back to life by Isis. Karus dared fly too near the sun on wings of feathers and wax then fell to his death. Jesus was nailed to a cross and died as God did nothing. Why? Because there is death in Heaven. It’s part of the circle of life. This is special, something very special and it’s happening before your very eyes”. she replied.
The priest seemed to think about what Colleen had just said but he was just shaking his head slowly back and forth when he looked down at his hands. “What in the world?” he questioned, somewhat taken aback. “A dog just licked my palm.”
“What did you just say?” the doctor asked, his hand had been licked a moment before.
“Woof, woof, woof,” the dog barked again from just outside the hospital room door in the hall. The three of them just stared as the elevator button was pushed and its doors opened.
“Woof, woof, woof,” as they closed a dog barked one last time from inside the empty elevator.
The priest mumbled: “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, as I am today. Whoever humbles himself will be exalted, as they just were.”